Holding On

Dear God..
Today I feel so tired..
I am not tired of my life, I am living it..
I am tired of shits. Those things love me so bad, so that they just can't be far away from me..
I hate to say that I am dying, but this is what I feel..
I am a patient person, but should I be like this again and again?
Being hurted, then saying sorry, being hurted, saying sorry..All over again..
It's okay God, if this is from You..
But I am sure, this is not from You, evils sent it to me.
I know I am imperfect, I am far to be perfect, but at least I am nice, I am nice enough..
I am weak, cannot be strong..
I try so hard, but I feel so wrong
I need a teacher to tell me how to do something right..
Yeah, I've been a sinner of love lately..
Not just because I broke someone's heart, but I broke myself for someone else..

Dear God..
I am also tired of being stupid
Maybe if You have a class of love, I'd be the last person who understands it
Love is not about being hurted right, God?
It's the feeling of the beauty.. I knew that..
But why I just can stand still while everybody would think I have to move on?
I don't know , God, I am stupid.....

Dear God..
I wouldn't ask You to take me to the past, when everything was right
I would ask You to bring me to the future, when I'd know how to do things well, to pass it by
I am the broken mirror now, need You to find my missing pieces

Lift me up, God
Tell myself that I can be strong, I would be fine..

And please answer me, God..
What should I do to make it goes as it should go?